It's all in your hands.... oh my brain hurts!

Oh my...
it's amazing how, even when exhausted, I can still go on & on about the importance of staying focused, the desire to achieve things & all the nice American obssessions...
Truly Great Masters or seriously successful people just stay quiet & do miracles that require a lot of prep work but in the end seem effortless in their timeless elegance.

What women want?

All we need is not love , or at least not only love.

And actually, since I am speaking first and foremost about myself, I should probably say that up till very recently love was something I didn't want at all...

Times change. Things happen. We change our minds.

But certain fundamental things that are part of our personality core are hard to break (and they probably shouldn't be broken).

Example: I was working my way up to my St. Valentine exhibit in London when a Paris trip appeared on the horizon (earlier than expected). Instead of purely professional it became an intensly personal & very desired trip. All sides involved wanted me to come to Paris as soon as possible. I wanted it as well but... I also wanted to fulfill my St. Valentine mission.

So being both flexible & stubborn I mobilized my forces & tomorrow I am off to London so that I could go to Paris next Friday.

Now, what does this story has to do with the "What women want?"

Look at the illustrations: you have two couples that are in love (or in lust, at least). Yet one woman is more passive, entirely content with what she has, while the other has something else on her mind.

I sincerely want to hope that this last woman loves her man (for he is one of the most amazing male-in-lust characters I've ever seen in the history of art!), but she remains a bit... not aloof, really, but her personality is not subdued, it's still all there.

Her ambitions, whatever they might be, are still there. In other words, she is her own woman.

So even though certain things have changed for me & inside me, and no matter how much I'd love to carry on with this change & discovery, one thing I want to keep is precisely this quality of knowing who you are, what you want & being prepared to work hard in order to get it...

Coming down with a cold. Tired. Sleep-deprived. But still going to exhibit this week-end.

"We'll always have Paris", for sure, but it will be even sweeter when you come after you've accomplished your mission.

Love is blind but it ain't stupid!

Two art-lovers are meeting this week-end. Things will happen for sure & some other things might happen, too, and if they do... they'd better happen fast!
Chance, Cupid, Fate, games adults play, a million little things coming together, the improbability of it all and the final outcome...
What are the chances, really, of a XV century Sforza Tarot card going hand in hand with Cezanne's Cupid and fruit study?
But you just never know till you try it. And that's the beauty of it all...

Women: so different, yet so much alike

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as they say. Maybe similiarities are as well & that would mean that I am the only one to see something that unites all these women.

Still, it is an amusing game (or stylistic exercise) to play.

Do all the happy couples look alike?

To follow up on the 'mix n' match' experiments I mentioned in my yesterday's posts: here is a brooch that combines 2 couples that are separated by centuries, and yet united by something that I can't quite put my finger on....but it feel (and looks, I hope!) just right!

Durer meets Toulouse-Lautrec. Wool wraps around lace. Love is all we need...

'Words, words, words, I am so sick of words'.... Showing me & you & everyone interested

And here we are: to follow up on last night's 'naked' images, here are some brooches that resulted from them (the later case - Nana in front of the mirror by Manet - is one of the 2 existing sketches, where the view from the back, more mysterious, is also more appealing to me personally!)

The only thing I did today was documenting all the pieces I've produced for the London St. Valentine show and it was an impressive lot. And a lot of it, too!

Too tired to be flirty!

I will have to leave the mirror phase for tomorrow. All this fun choosing what to wear over the (important, let's say it en passant & mysteriously) week-end.

I will definitely not have the shortage of clothes & the number of jewelry pieces to choose from will give me vertigo (but I'll survive & even create more bijoux!)

Foggy, grey but yet sunnily happy days of great work, new places & new faces await me!

But right now I am too tired to get excited about it. Let's see if I manage to read at least half a page of something before falling asleep!

Curves & emotional manipulation

These days I have a bigger than ever appreciation for baroque, rococo & anything that has swirls, curls, twirls, volumes, passion, exaggeration, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, .... Things that before overwhelming you completely, make you want to reach out & touch them either physically with your hand or caress them with your eyes, as I say.
So while working with fabric & especially 3D wool I make a mental note on dedicating some time when I go & travel next to better embue myself with the baroque spirit.
Come to think of it, they knew ohhhh so well what they were after: emotional manipulation at its earliest!
The "Hot dog soup" example above predates this phase of mine but it does shoe how two absolutely unrelated objects actually pair up nicely, stylistically speaking... And then all you need is a name. A catchy one, for sure.
So that the emotional manipulation would meet even more advertising techniques!
Who if not me would enjoy all that!!!

2+3=5, but 3+2=something completely different. A la recherche du... right parts of the equation

Going in circles. Getting circles (grey, just like the grey in the photo above) under my eyes. Sleeping badly. Loosing appetite. But still having fun & still excitedly talking about how when you move one little thing a bit to the left the way the right side looks changes totally.

Had to take a lot of this kind of decisions for the past few days. I also worked on some 'mix n' match' pieces - bijoux that puts side to side paintings by completely different artists but that somehow are either stylistically similar or look like they might establish some interesting 'dialogue'.

The above example (with the usual color-obssessive, de rigeur, variations on the theme) was one of the earliest attempts of this kind and I am showing it now because I feel like throwing myself on the grass or bed next to Degas & Matisse figures (respectively) & finally getting some sleep!!!

Funnily though I can't really complain about the lack of sleep: what bothers me today is that 'life got in the way' and I didn't work at all....

And that puts me in a worse mood....

But tomorrow is another day!

Artistically ugly: on transformational power & flexibility

(Almost) my hands as seen by Durer: normally so elegant, soft, white & with (outrageous, truth to be told!) nail polish, these days they are nothing like that at all.
But instead they produce some fine work, and then by Saturday morning the miraculous transformation from Cinderela to Princess will take place.
That's the best part of the game, or games, rather, plural: Life, womanhood (hate this word!!! i am not into feminisism or womens' studies, sorry!), and creative work in general.
The ability to transform yourself, your surroundings, your thoughts - and other people's way of looking at things, the way they feel & behave.
Mix n' match approach. With ease & uttermost grace, whenever you feel like it. Switching between completely different contexts with zero effort.
That's what I loved about Rio - going to a dirtiest of bars, a hole in the wall, literally, in a beautiful silk dress. Effortless nonchalance, which brings to mind the best definition of elegance I've ever come across (in a highly improbable place: Mills & Boon romance): "A real lady wears a cloth jaket as if it were a mink coat and tosses her mink coat as if it were made of cloth".

So I am enjoying my dress-down now because the super-sophisticated look is going to be revived soon. One is impossible without the other. And it's not even the other side of the coin - my coin's each & every side is more like a mosaic, really. My looks could change 4 times during the day, depending on..... as many factors as you possibly can't imagine. And neither can I, quite yet...
The best part of the game(s), so let's roll up our sleeves & put our ugly artistic hands to work for the more beautiful future. But not entirely, for beauty 24/7 bores us, too!

Sky's the limit, yes, but then it hurts to fall from up there. Or not?

I am extreme: things & people are either hot or cold to me, but hardly ever tepid. In the same way, I either get enthusiastic about situations, projects & new faces within the first 10 seconds, or it is unlikely to happen. Ever.

You might logically think then that if I set my heart of something (or someone), I am very likely to work hard in order to get what/who I want (which I do) and get upset if something goes not quite the way I thought it would.

But that's the thing: I get my hopes up fast, joyfully dance my way up the 'stairway to heaven', but then if I fall, I don't get hurt.

It is some kind of wonderful flexibility, 'psychological protection "cushion"' that saves me from bruises. It seems like I don't even get a minor scratch....

Maybe it's the result of a disillusionment I was born with - some don't have a single lazy bone in their bodies, me - I don't have an optimistic gene. Instead, I am a realist (not a pessimist, please, for I am also the 'bottle half-full' kind of girl!)

All this shrink DIY session to say that: at the end of the last year, in early December, and for the first time in my life, I suddenly got the feeling that some big change awaited me in the year 2010. I didn't know what it was. But it felt... almost mysterious.

Then... now...I think I know what it is.

It remains to be seen how will the story end, or rather, how it will begin.

The beginning of a beautiful friendship we already have.

The best is yet to come.

But if the worst will happen, and I will fall... I will land on my feet!

And the best thing is that I am working double hard right now - trying to create as many lovely pieces as I can taking advantage of my 'special' mood! So this way something good, excellent, will come out of this - true or imagined - change!

Of course I do!

You know that, don't you?

Happy birthday, Dad!

Tacit knowledge & (vain) hopes

When you come from a certain culture that you know intimately, quite often you can 'feel' it but can't explain it, put it into words. So even at the best of times we knew it was not going to last long.

Here's my dad with Yeltsin. I have beautiful pictures of him with Gorby as well, but this memorabilia didn't amount to much.

What a shame. But then again, we knew it. Tacit knowledge. Quiet pessimism. Or realism, rather.

Finding your calling early in life

I was told this story many times: when my father was a child, apparently he loved to crawl under the bed & tear the newspapers to pieces. His parents would jokingly say that he loved the (free) press so much that it was a clear sign of him becoming a journalist in the future.

Which he did.

But then there was no sign of the free press....And when it looked like things were going to change... of course they didn't!

Wow, what a mood I am getting myself into!

On the same wavelength? Yes and no

Smoke. Pigeons. Newspapers. Radio.

And it's all about my dad. And my weird logic that makes sense to me only.

Anyhow, I love smoke because I love my father.

And I get a pang in my heart whenever I see a vintage radio that my dad, a wonderful journalist, collects. It is his life. Broadcasting life. Broadcasting live.

Sounds beautiful, natural & gratifying. What a wonderful profession to have.

If only things were that easy where he lives....

Still, my dear father, people who love you are on the same wavelength with you even when being on air is less & less fun...

Men who smoke put me on fire (of sorts...Freudian?)

January the 14th is my father's birthday. I used to think that we were very similar & that was the reason why we would fight. Not big time fights, nuisances, rather, but still. It also made me wonder if you have a bigger chance of fighting with your parents if you are very much alike or very different.
I still haven't arrived at a definite conclusion about that but I know that I love men who smoke because my father is a chain smoker. Irrational & smelly as it is, I am fine with it. I remember shocking a Parisian friend once when after 4 hours walking he lit a cigarette and I exclaimed (I didn't know he smoked at all!): "You don't smoke enough!!!"
He thought at me as if I were crazy. Won't say I am not, but there's always a reason...

Now you see it, now you don't! A woman I'd go out with

Easy to guess, right?

If you know me (reading me counts as knowing me), you'd realize without any effort who is my kind of girl, whom I'd enjoy going out with.

Yet, even more so than in the children's example/illustration, the difference is very subtle indeed.

But when you know what is sentimental, you shun away from it instinctively & rapidly. Or if you buy it for your collection it's only because of the pearl chocker - had I decided to buy all the sentimental images just to show how much I dislike them.... I would've been even more broke than I am now (would it be possible at all, I wonder?)

So here's to smart women. Better still: smart & beautiful women, for they are around us & they are our (mine) best friends.

Sticky sweet & juicy gossip

Being obssessed as I am with illustrating my theories (an idee' fixe that predates my jewelry design profession), here are some images that go with what I dwelt on before, namely a difference between romantic & sentimental.

What could be sweeter than children? And yet, one image here is sweet without being sticky, while the other...

And the reason I got the sentimental image in the first place is that if you combine it with the 'naughy Jane' girl, you get a juicy bit of gossip piece right there!

Pure potential! Not sweet at all! Sour! And, most importantly, not romantic!

A woman has 2 faces... (and even more pairs of pants)

To follow up on the polarities, differences, & changing, yet deep down remaining true to yourself.

I find this photo incredible. It ain't Photoshop mashup, but don't these 2 Rio de Janeiro women look splendidly mismatched, standing together like this side by side?

This is how we all are & how we all feel: one day it's pants & only the boyish look would make me feel good about my body, and tomorrow I will cry unless I put on that sweet & innocent dress.

And it's always the same woman. Or not?

Go figure!

A man who knows...where romanticism separates from sentimentality

(text on this card reads):
WITH MY HEART. With my love, my heart I send. May I call you more than friend?

Finally somebody else said it!!!
I met a man last week & after I mentioned my not being romantic he interrupted me & asked: "But are you not romantic or unsentimental?". Had our conversation not taken place on the phone, I could've hugged & kissed him, maybe. Instead, I simply shouted in joy, amazement & gratitude, for I spent years saying that most people (the majority of them being MEN!) think of themselves as romantic, while all that they are (and it's a much deadlier sin) is sentimental.
How do I define a difference? In short, romantic for me is not a 24/7 state of mind. It is something that is not absolute, permanent. It depends: on the context, on the person, on many variables. Sentimentality, the way I see it, is something that is always part of you. It is your way of looking at the world, your life philosophy (or rather, the absence of it!) It is the lack of critical spirit. It's admiring the cheesiest of things. It's the rose-colored spectacles (always, not only when you are 'supposedly' in love!).
What it also means is that people who see themselves as neither romantic nor (God forbid!) sentimental, can change & at times become romantic, whereas it's highly unlikely that a sentimental person would change radically...

So this post is dedicated to my new friend. A man who knows. And since he knows what I've known for a long time, I feel that maybe, finally, I've found someone whom I'd want to - quoting from the card above - 'call more than a friend'.

See what I mean? I am becoming romantic!!!
Point proven!

Know thyself, or this is sooooo not me!

Everything is a test, but not everyone is relaxed about everything (if you know what I mean!!!)
Generally, I am never stressed: my attitude is best described by the Brazilian phrase: "Voce e' muito zen" ("You are very zen"), which is quite different from the common American shrug followed by an indifferent 'whatever'...
However, for the past month I've been a bit under pressure. The reason? Some people wanted to get answers from me that were 100% against my nature and the mere possibility of forcing myself to do or say something that is very much unlike me hurt. A lot.
So here's why & when analysis is more than every welcome: know thyself. Observe. Compare & contrast. Listen to yourself. Ask questions, ask for clarifications. Do not be afraid to be a bit paranoid (when you are alone in the dark).
What doesn't break you, makes you stronger. That's how I feel now, at any rate!
Ready to face the music and pearls.
And pretty flowers and St. Valentine's coming.
One fundamental question needs to be asked: how can a person who considers herself to be non-romantic create something for the people who really believe in romance?

What really matters....

To make money isn't at the Top 5 of my New Year Resolutions' list, let alone to expect it falling from the skies. But to work my way, steadily but surely, towards what makes me happy (by the way - do these children busily harvesting money strike you as happy???) is definitely my priority number 1.

And this time around I am serious. I want to make it work like I never did want anything else to work before (nor hopefully I would after, for if it works out, then, logically, this would be it...).

So the year 2010 is off to a good red-eye start: can't sleep, can & want to work.

Having more ups than downs. Cold-bloodedly, rationally working my way towards exhibiting my St.Valentine's collection in London.

To be continued!